My goodness, this flu has thoroughly kicked both mine and Jaxon’s butts! Today is the first day that I didn’t have a fever within an hour of waking up, and I am hoping to stay fever free all day! Jaxon unfortunately did still wake with a fever and it is day 5! Luckily he has been handling it so well. As long as we are good about rotating the Tylenol and Ibuprofen, he feels and acts pretty normal. I have never napped so much in my life. I’m starting to wonder if maybe this was God’s way of getting me prepped for the recovery from the bilateral mastectomy surgery. I needed to get used to listening to what my body needs, not push myself too hard, and to be super patient with my limitations. Well, message received! I hope this week I am feeling good and strong so I can now get my house ready. This week starts my leave from work so that I can get everything in order for the surgery next week.
A lot of people have been wondering how they can help, and I have honestly been wracking my brain to figure out what we may need. It is really hard to think of stuff because we have never been though this before. I know that for the most part when it comes to Jaxon, we are covered for at least the first two weeks. I know that at some point in the recovery I am going to get frustrated and bored of just sitting around, and would probably welcome some company, but I have no idea how far into the recovery that may be. I’m sure the boys would welcome prepared meals from time to time if anyone wanted to pitch in there. Also, any of my CES teacher friends, if you could just kind of watch out for Jaxon in the hallways over those first few weeks that would be amazing. I am the one who usually gets him ready for school, drops him off, and picks him up from after school, so this is going to be a major change for him. He is pretty strong and resilient, but I have no idea how this may affect his psyche with me basically being unable to parent for a little while And of course prayers and good vibes are always welcomed and appreciated.
I feel anxious and calm at the same time, if that makes any sense I had gotten myself so worked up about how long it took to get past the finding out phase to get to the fixing it phase. Now that we have finally gotten the ball rolling, I have felt pretty peaceful about everything. I am nervous about the surgery, which I am sure will intensify as we get closer, but I am more thankful that we are finally getting close to getting this awful stuff out of my body for good. I am sure that this might be the most painful/uncomfortable experience of my life, but that fact that is is likely to be a cure for me outweighs what I may have to endure. This too shall pass. I am so ready to get back to living my life cancer free, and I can’t wait until the day that I can proclaim that I am doing exactly that.