Ok folks! It has been two days on Concerta, and so far I feel exactly like I did yesterday! I have learned and noticed some new things, so I wanted to share them with you here. Today I did notice that my absentmindedness was still present. I don’t know that it was more or less than without the meds, but I still had about 3 times today that it got me. If you’ve ever worked with me, you’ll know that I will wear a pen out. I will use it until the ink runs dry. I keep it on me at all times, and I get distressed if I can’t find it. Today I left it in one of the teller stations and completely forgot until I needed it. One thing that did change is that I didn’t get distressed about it. I just laughed it off. Later on in the day an associate called me over for an override. I let her know that it would be just a moment, and then completed what I was doing. I realized that it was 4 o’clock and I needed to lock the doors to the center, so I did that as well. By the time I finished locking the doors, I had forgotten that she needed me. This is not a new thing by any means, and they have gotten pretty used to reminding me, but I find it frustrating because it makes me feel stupid to an extent. Lastly, when I got home after work, I went to ask if Travis could keep our 10 yo Jaxon while I ran to the store, and he had to remind me that he was not going to be home for the third time in three days. I hope that maybe over time things like that will get better.
Now on to the good things that I noticed today! I got yelled/cussed at three times today at work, and I didn’t take it personally! This is a huge win for me. I take everything personally, even if it is not about me in the slightest. I was able to basically laugh it off and move on which is HUGE! Another thing I noticed today is that I am full-on smiling at people I don’t even know. I am queen of the awkward weird half smile/half grimace. You know the one. It’s the one us awkward folks give to people that we don’t know to acknowledge that we have seen them. Everyone got an actual smile from me! And it was so easy to do! I have always been in awe of people who can just break out a smile for anyone. I’ve always wondered how it came so easy to them.
Let’s talk a little bit more about executive dysfunction. I have been having an issue with my car’s sunroof drains for at least six months now. The one in the front passenger side stopped draining properly and has been just dumping all the rainwater into the front passenger floorboard. It has been extremely frustrating as it causes a small lake that I then have to bail out with a cup. EVERY TIME IT RAINS! I cannot tell you how many times I have told myself that I need to find out what the issue is. I have actually researched methods to troubleshoot it. Do you know how many times I have actually tried to do anything about it? Zero. You might ask, “If the problem was so unbelievable frustrating, why didn’t you just fix it?” I have asked myself that same question a million times, especially while I am bailing out the water yet again. I don’t have an answer. I just could not bring myself to do it. Today, I came home from work with a lake in the floorboard YET AGAIN due to the rain we’ve had all day. I came in the house, changed clothes, had the absentminded conversation with Travis, went out to the car and fixed the problem. Just like that. So simple. I didn’t look anything up online. I just figured it out. I did call my dad to confirm that what I thought was the problem, was in fact the problem (it was). But otherwise, I did it all myself! It was stupid how EASY the solution was! The sunroof drain tube had come out of the piece that ensures it drains outside of the car. I just needed to put it back in. I could’ve cried. All that time wasted bailing water out of the car, and it literally took me minutes to fix it. This is ADHD.
I am so grateful for this medication, and I really hope these positive effects continue. Life will be so much more enjoyable! For your viewing pleasure, some photographic evidence of the exasperating problem and the extremely simple solution.
Till next time,
-Rachel
